


So Close

by peanutpea



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Circle Mages, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Mild Smut, Templars (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:34:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23377717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanutpea/pseuds/peanutpea
Summary: An elaboration on the time that Cullen nearly kissed his Inquisitor.
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford/Female Trevelyan, Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Female Mage Inquisitor & Cullen Rutherford
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52





	So Close

“The Commander would like to speak with you,” she repeated in a mocking voice to herself, “The Commander specifically wants you to humiliate yourself in front of him and his troops,” she carried on as she made her way down the stairs into the main hall. She was reluctantly answering his summons.

Evelyn couldn’t lie to herself; she loved spending time with Cullen. When the pressure of leading the Inquisition was lessened, she relished the informal time she was allowed to spend with Cullen. They had been spending more and more time together recently, playing chess, sharing hilarious entries they'd find in the troops reports; things that only the two of them together enjoyed. 

She loved spending time with Cullen, but she _hated_ spending time with her Commander. 

He was very good at playing his part as leader of the Inquisition’s forces. Strong, assertive and inspiring; all the qualities she should possess but felt as though she lacked. She was a decisive and strategic leader, she would credit herself that much, but she became flustered easily. All Evelyn ever needed were the facts. If she was left alone to collect herself, she would always, without fail, find the answer to their problem. She was unable to cope with the constant to-ing and fro-ing between her advisors; the debating, the pacing, the incessant discussion around the hundreds of options available to them. It made her head spin. 

She was better at being the brains, rather than the face of the Inquisition. She laughed to herself at her predicament as she crossed the hall. Ducking her head in embarrassment, she quickened her pace after spotting a pair of nobles eyeing her curiously for her spontaneous laughter.

Cullen knew she hated leading. Her Commander would play his part with Leliana and Josephine; Cullen would wait until he could steal Evelyn away and keep her all to himself, and he would simply sit and listen to her, guiding her to find her own path. Another reason she loved spending time with Cullen. 

Over the last couple of months, especially since their upheaval to Skyhold, Evelyn had been desperately trying to convince herself that her feelings for him were purely platonic, but she had been failing awfully. One more reason that she hated spending time with her Commander. 

She stomped across the courtyard, bracing herself; there would no doubt be troops assembled in his office. She bobbed her head along with the imaginary discussion taking place in her head.

_“And then we need this very, very important thing deciding immediately.”_

_“What does the Inquisitor think?”_

**_The Inquisitor thinks you should write this down for her and let her get back to you._ **

Her heart sank as she pre-empted the stammering, and the babbling, and the “Uh"s and the “Ah"s as she fumbled to find the right words for them all, their eyes burning into her, waiting for her words of wisdom as nothing but incoherent rammel poured out. 

Her Commander would think her an incompetent fool. She sighed as she reached his door. Perhaps better to get this over with, she reasoned.

“Commander?” she peered her head nervously around the door. She heard a clatter of metal as a chair scraped across the stone floor, making her shudder from the screeching noise it made.

“Evelyn, come in,” he called to her, enthusiasm in his tone. She slipped in cautiously, ready to weigh up how many soldiers would have her attention. A sigh of relief she had no idea she had been holding escaped her lungs; it was just the two of them.

“Are you alright?” He sounded concerned as he crossed the room to her. Her eyes met his and she felt a warm smile creep across her face.

“Yes, yes, I'm fine,” she replied happily, “You wanted to see me?” 

“Yes, I, uh...I wanted to ask how you were?” his eyes were looking at his feet as his hands twisted around themselves. Evelyn raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“I'm alright, thank you, Cullen,” she paused for a second, thinking of what to say, “How...uh...how are you?” 

“Oh, no, I am well, thank you. It’s just, since you returned from Crestwood, you...you just seem a little...” he thought to choose his words carefully, “down?” his last word posed almost as a question. 

Evelyn cocked her head to the side as he met her eyes again. He looked nervous as though he may have offended her. 

“Oh, Cullen,” she smiled as she sighed, again, “Thank you. I’m good. It was a difficult situation and I feel for the villagers,” she furrowed her brow as she thought. 

“I can’t begin to imagine,” Cullen breathed, “Would you like to sit down with me?” he gestured towards his desk. She nodded. He placed his hand gently on the small of her back as they walked over to take a seat. 

“And I'm not saying I agree with his actions, because I don’t, but I do feel for the Mayor as well,” she leaned back into her chair. Cullen took a seat and nodded, motioning for her to continue. She watched her hands as they twiddled together. 

“He did what he thought was best for his people. It was a terrible decision, mind you,” she frowned, “But he was trying to protect everyone else. I understand why he did it, is all I'm saying,” she shrugged. 

“I understand. I'm sorry that you have to make these decisions. It is difficult,” his tone was soothing, “You just seemed a little sad since you returned, and I wanted to make sure you were alright,” he smiled at her, which she returned gratefully.

“I appreciate that, Cullen,” she went to reach her hand out to grasp his. She recoiled as she felt a surprisingly icy cold sensation on her forearm. She looked at his desk.

“Oh, I'm sorry!” Cullen laughed. 

_His Templar armour._

Evelyn’s eyes widened ever so slightly. 

She had been a Circle Mage previously. She remembered watching the Templars strut around proudly in their armour. There were a few in her time that had chased her romantically. She was a dangerous flirt when she wanted to be. She knew their desires could never blossom into anything real or serious; those were the rules. But it also meant that she had had nothing to lose from her advances, therefore she could be as bold and as tempting as she wanted. 

A few stolen kisses in dark corridors would soon lead to desperate, lustful encounters in secret, forgotten chambers.

Sooner or later, her Templar would be promoted or stationed elsewhere. He’d give her a tender kiss goodbye and that would be the end of it, until she fell into another's lap. 

She was careful and clever. Nobody ever knew what she was up to, and the secrecy made it all the more exciting. She never considered herself promiscuous for it; she was incredibly loyal to whomever she shared herself with, but the nature of the Templar and Mage relationship meant that nothing was ever certain, and she had needs as much as any other person. 

She held a desire for Templars and all that they represented; their raw strength and powerful demeanour. They had always behaved like perfect gentlemen for her, but there was no denying that she had loved their control over her.

She crossed her legs together tightly as she imagined Cullen as a Templar. Her breath hitched in her throat as she imagined his gauntleted hand grasping her small fingers and leading her to a dark, quiet room. Her lips pursed gently as she imagined him pinning her against the wall, slowly hitching up her robes as he whispered all the things he was going to do to her to make her behave. She was a Mage, and he needed to show her that he was in charge. 

“Evelyn?” Cullen broke her trance. She looked up at him. 

“Yes?” She breathed. 

“Maker’s breath! I'm so sorry! I didn’t think!” he jumped out of his chair and scrambled to move the pieces of his armour.

“What? What’s wrong, Cullen?” she rose from her chair and took his hand into hers. He sighed and pinched his temple with his free hand.

“Forgive me. I forget you were a Circle mage. I expect you'd never wish to see a Templar again for as long as you live,” he huffed. 

Evelyn giggled. 

“Sit down, Cullen. It’s quite alright,” she gave his hand a gentle squeeze before she let go and resumed her seat. He eyed her with confusion as he sat back down.

“You looked startled, I presumed I'd upset you,” he huffed. 

Evelyn felt a mischievous smile creep across her face.

“Cullen?” her voice was almost sing song. 

“Yes?” she had his full attention. 

She leaned back in her chair again, locking her eyes onto his.

“When you were a Templar,” she thought carefully about her words, “did you ever....?” 

Cullen raised his brow at her question.

“Did I ever what?” he replied curiously.

“Were there ever any Mages who...caught your eye?” she teased. Her eyes flicked down to his armour and back to his gaze. His eyes widened when he realised what she was asking. He cleared his throat carefully.

“No, um...” he paused, holding her stare, her eyes piercing into him, “Not in the Circle,” he replied in a low, husky voice. 

Evelyn cocked her head to the side, never taking her eyes off of him.

“Not in the Circle,” she repeated, “But, perhaps elsewhere?” she was toying with him now, and he knew it. 

He was utterly besotted with the Mage, and had been ever since she had playfully engaged him on the training grounds in Haven.

He lived for his time spent with Evelyn. She was so gentle and attentive with him; she made him feel human again. She had listened to his stories, and he had waited for her to judge and scold him but she never did. Evelyn always made him see reason, slowly helping Cullen to forgive himself. He found it much easier to move on with Evelyn guiding him.

His time spent with the Inquisitor, on the other hand, was entirely different. He loathed their formality. He hated watching her stumble blindly through leadership, forced to make horrible decisions all the while maintaining a brave face, and it was his duty to allow and encourage it, sending her off to battle without a second thought. The Commander stood by his Inquisitor and allowed this all. Cullen would take Evelyn in his arms and help her pick up the pieces from the aftermath.

But now that he thought on it, he _had_ let his eyes wander once or twice during his time as a Templar, but his devotion to his duty had never let his desires get the better of him. 

“Well...” he made to answer her question.

“You know,” she interrupted him, “I believe I still have my Circle robes somewhere,” she moved her finger to her lips thoughtfully.

He stifled a groan. He pictured Evelyn wandering around the Circle Library, her robes unlaced slightly to show off her collar bone, teasing a glance at her cleavage. He thought about what he would say to her for catching her out of bed after hours, even though they both knew she had done it on purpose; after all, he had _accidentally_ let slip that it was his watch that night. He would back her against the wall, his fingers tracing her jaw as he gently enclosed them around her slender neck to hold her in place as she would wrap her leg around him to pull him closer. He would growl at her, reminding her that she was breaking the rules. She would ask him what he was going to do with her, her breath dancing across his ear lobe and neck as she leaned in dangerously close. 

He shook his head quickly, trying to push those thoughts away. He looked across at Evelyn; she was leaning forward, her elbow on his desk, her head resting on her knuckles as her other hand traced the decorations on his armour. The twitching between his legs was becoming all too much for him, but still, he couldn’t help himself.

“Did you ever...” his voice low and husky, “Did you ever spend the night with a Templar?” part of him felt ashamed to ask, a flicker of loyalty to his old life remained within him, but he was all too happy to play Evelyn’s game.

Her lips curled into a sly grin as she looked directly into his eyes.

“Not _since_ the Circle,” she teased. 

He bit his lip as a small groan _did_ escape him, failing to stop a slight grin from skirting across his face. She noticed and he saw her tongue flicker across her top lip. He wanted to pull her across the desk into his lap and claim her right then and there, but there were more to his feelings than lustful want for her. They shared an emotional connection between them, he knew this. Was this her way of confessing her attraction for him? 

He stood up and made his way over to his bookshelf to try and put some distance between them; he didn’t trust himself in this moment. Part of him wanted her to leave before he could lose his resolve.

She rose from her chair and moved to sit on his desk to face him. 

“Do you ever miss being a Templar?” her tone was much more gentle and far less playful; a genuine question. He sighed.

“Sometimes? It was all I ever wanted to be, but...” he thought for a moment, “It was not all that I expected.”

“I understand,” Evelyn smiled. He had told her of his time as a Templar; his triumphs and achievements, and his failures and nightmares.

“Do you miss the Circle?” he turned to face her. She frowned as she thought. 

“I guess, occasionally. I miss the people, and I miss the lack of responsibility,” she laughed, “I suppose I am no less free now than I was there,” she sighed. Her words hit Cullen like a shield to the face. Of course she wasn’t free. She had never been free. He walked over to her and faced her, an almost apologetic expression to his face. She smiled at him and stretched her leg out allowing her foot to hook around his thigh. He took the hint and stepped forward. 

“But I have better people to spend time with now,” she whispered, holding his gaze. He planted his hands on the desk either side of her. She moved her hands up his arms and to his shoulders. This was it; this was all the prompting he needed. He leaned forward to capture her mouth with his, finally. Her grip on his shoulders tightened as she gently pulled him forward. 

The door burst open, and the shock of the noise sent her Commander jumping backwards away from her.

Jim’s eyes were fixed on his paperwork. He hadn’t seen them. 

“Commander, Lady Josephine has requested your opinion on these,” he handed the report to the Commander. Cullen huffed with frustration as he snatched the report from Jim. 

He turned to the Inquisitor, only to ask her to wait one moment, but Evelyn was already halfway out of the door opposite, slamming it behind her as she ran back to her quarters, her heart pounding with a nauseating mixture of desire and fear.

Cullen sighed.

“That will be all, Jim,” the Commander growled. Jim saluted and made his exit. 

Cullen slumped into his chair, his head in his hands on his desk. They had been so close. He had been so close.

_Bloody Jim._

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this based on the little flashback in Her Commander where Cullen reminisces about the time he nearly kissed the Inquisitor. 
> 
> I'm working on a big slow burn (totally different story) so any feedback while I'm hashing that one out is greatly appreciated!


End file.
